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February 12th, 2021

4:49 PM

Is This All I Am?

Please forgive me if this missive is a bit personal.

I question myself: is this all that I am? Is this how you folks see me or is there something more that interests you to get to know me more?

I could have died a year and a half ago. You would not have been able to read anything I wrote ever again. I didn't. Yet, I find that did anything I say make a difference or have I been wasting my life writing to the wind in hopes someone, anyone will read or hear what I have to say.

I am not sure at this moment where I am in this life. I don't want to feel as if I have wasted my time for nothing or that my existence means nothing. I would like to believe I made a difference in someone's life. I would like to believe that the students who see me whenever I enter a classroom enjoy my presence. Although I could have done a lot better on the romantic side before my marriage, I would like to think I was a good person to the women I met.

But I can't control what was never in my grasp anyway. Funny how the years pass by and I think it was all in my grasp. It was, but I didn't take advantage of it. My bad.

So these thoughts have been on my mind for a long time now. Just wanted to share them with you. Take care.

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