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September 15th, 2020

1:10 AM

At Least I Tried

First of all, I must apologize to you, the reader if my presentation causes you to miss the point of this essay. I am not stuck up nor a snob, never has been or will be. In fact, anyone who knows me including my wife will say I'€™m one of the best reserved, polite men you’ll ever meet. If you have been reading this blog for the time it's been in existence you know I have many thoughts, opinions on my mind that I share with you in this medium. For the past fifteen years I'm proud of each and every entry posted on Thoughts On A String and perhaps at times a post or three (smile) may be a bit ridiculous, it was my way of breaking the doldrums of an average day we all live. This year, there are no longer average days. They'€™re survival days.

If the previous post was a clue, perhaps it should enlighten you on the way we’re all feeling now. This madness in our politics and culture has been lurking for decades now. Now it is an unleashed monster threatening to devour our conscious minds and our souls. Our political frenzy is literally killing us, the divisions based on race, gender, sexuality, income level are tearing us apart. Storytellers are now persuaded to write tales where inclusion and other sociological philosophies must be shown. As much as I rant about social media, I must ask myself the question: do I really need it? As a writer who plans to create more stories, poems, fables, do I need it? What in the time since I wrote my first post here on the blog has my "€˜fanbase"€™ grown? Where are the fans of my works these platforms promised to help bring in? Where are the readers to commend or criticize my written works, even on this blog? I ask these questions because as of this moment, this is a critical moment in my writing career.

As of now, please accept this essay as a vent, frustration I'€™m feeling at this moment. There are times I wish I wasn't this polite, thoughtful black man with an objective mindset. There'€™s a need I break down historical facts with an analytical mind (based on my love of history) and at the same time, maintain what'€™s left of my sanity. We are not long for this world and this world won't be here long for us. I am the eternal optimist and I believe things will get better in the end. What I decided I won'€™t do for the time being is write about political issues on this blog as while I may offer my opinion in the hope the words I write will help promote awareness and understanding, I have to say that I'€™m only an email or comment (shut those down a long time ago) away from reading "€œChatmon, you son of a B! I hated your f....€ s.....€œanalysis€ (if you call it that, you untalented.......)" I understand we'€™re all living in "€œCancel Culture"€ now. This bestselling author has received her fair share of the online torch bearers threatening to burn down her career based on something she wrote. Who has time to go through that trouble?

For me, I still believe in sharing different points of view and discussing them if one chooses to do that with me. I have stood in front of crowds and read my poetry since the early 1980's. I have contributed articles in high school and college. If someone disagrees with what I write, I invite them to talk it over and maybe achieve an understanding. My intent now as it has always been, is to make people think. My wife believes my efforts are laudable, but at this point in our divisive, tribe like society, worthless. Therefore, I should just give up, say my efforts are in vain but I will keep trying. I'm leaving one topic alone for the time being. Perhaps it will change as time moves along but folks are so intent to remain in their ideological tribes with no persuading them to move from their so-called safe spaces, it's not worth the effort. Essays such as those written under the name the Common Sense Project are dead as of now, totally not worth it.

At least I tried.

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